On a recent trip to the beach I reacquainted myself with a simple, thin book that has been a source of inspiration I visit from time to time since I first read it over ten years ago. Gift from the Sea, by Anne Morrow Lindbergh, shares the author’s personal approach to the particular challenges for women in balancing the needs of self, family and the world.  Although first published in 1955, Lindbergh’s honest and down-to-earth perspective is relevant, and even refreshing, for women now.  From today’s tuned-in, turned-on lifestyles it may be hard to imagine that society of earlier generations also struggled with distractions and demands that interfered with inner peace and purposeful living.  Yet Anne Morrow Lindbergh, a wife and mother in public view in her day, describes perfectly the “ever widening circles of contact and communication.  It involves not only family demands, but community demands, national demands, international demands on the good citizens, through social and cultural pressures, through newspapers, magazines, radio programs, political drives, charitable appeals, and so on.”  I think she just described my day!  ​

​These are typical experiences shared with me over the years by clients.  Many of them entered therapy to work on anxiety, depression or relationship struggles without recognizing the role their childhood hurt or trauma played in how they were feeling as an adult.  They had been working so hard to understand their feelings in the context of their adult lives, but hadn’t been able to make the progress or changes they felt they should.  Their worries and concerns seemed exaggerated, even unrealistic.  Their chronic sadness, in spite of having a rich and full life, was a mystery.  They found themselves caught in the same unhealthy patterns in their relationships, despite wanting desperately to love and be loved. 
The process of therapy revealed that each of these clients also had courage and outstanding strengths that helped them survive the emotional hurts, neglect, and in some cases physical abuse, of their childhoods.  In addition, they had all overcome significant obstacles in their adult life and even excelled in unique areas, though these were accomplishments they previously had not recognized. 
Therapists trained in trauma resolution can assist clients with healing wounds from the past using emotionally safe and clinically effective approaches specific for an individual’s needs.  By addressing these childhood experiences and how they impact the present, one is more fully empowered for lasting changes in how they feel about themselves and in their choices and relationships with others.  We can then be our best selves in the present, having released our ghosts from the past.

​Our relationship with technology is becoming an important behavioral factor in our mental and physical health, just like our sleep habits, diet, physical activity, social connectivity and other behavior choices.  And like with most behaviors, moderation and manageability of our use of technology is recommended by an increasing wealth of research.  Just as medical research tells us that, for many people, one glass of wine or cup of coffee daily can have health benefits, moderate use of technology offers advantages and resources in our lives.  And too much use can be a detrimental influence to our sense of well-being and even our physical health.  
 The trick is to recognize our own particular vulnerabilities to any negative impact of technology in our lives and to identify strategies for managing our use so that it adds value rather than to allow technology to manage us. ​Here’s a good example--

​ “Why am I attracted to the wrong people?” is one of the most common questions clients ask in therapy, accompanied by heartache, feelings of hopelessness and even shame.  As a therapist, I see this as one of the most tragic struggles in the search for intimacy and connectedness.  However in my experience, very very few people are actually trying to sabotage their own happiness or truly seeking an unhealthy love partner; in fact most people are searching for better ways to meet their needs for attachment and love.  So why do relationships become toxic? 
 Emotionally unhealthy people don’t have all the relationship skills needed to maintain a deeply intimate and committed connection.  But they often do have the more superficial abilities that work well in establishing an intense connection: charm, flattering attentiveness and instant and constant companionship that may include sexual intimacy.  These feel like the romantic and passionate feelings that we associate with “love”, and lead us to open ourselves to a potential mate.  Psychologists studying strategies used by cults to recruit new members have noted the use of similar tactics.

When the prominent, dominant mood state you experience is sadness and depression, that’s an indication that there is an emotional imbalance.  Not only is this a miserable way to feel, it can influence every area of your life.  

• Social: withdrawal from normal level of engaging with friends and family​