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My Pilates instructor often tells our class that the key to Pilates movements is the breath. While I’m still working on mastering that, as a psychologist I know that a key to achieving a more relaxed state, and even to managing a panic reaction, is deep breathing. Let me explain why breathing is a powerful and critical tool for changing one’s psychological state, and then I’ll share how to do it right.
Deep breathing works to increase relaxation by introducing more oxygen into our body and decreasing carbon dioxide. By controlling our breathing in this way our body automatically shifts from the sympathetic nervous system’s “flight, flee or freeze” response to the parasympathetic nervous system response, which redirects oxygenated blood from the muscles back to the brain, allowing us to better use our judgement and reasoning. The vagus nerve is stimulated and in turn regulates physiological responses such as heart rate and blood pressure while releasing neurotransmitters that improve focus and concentration. And all this just by breathing.
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“I never really thought about my childhood. Then as an adult an acquaintance asked me how my family was; I started crying and couldn’t stop. I was so embarrassed and I couldn’t understand why I reacted that way.” “My friends share stories about growing up. I don’t share many of my own stories because other people often can’t relate to them or they tell me what happened to me wasn’t normal. Then I just don’t know how to feel.” “Other people seem to remember a lot more of their childhood than I do, but that’s probably for the best because what I do remember isn’t very pleasant. I focus more on trying hard to be the kind of person others will like. I work so hard not to make mistakes or disappoint others that sometimes I feel I’ve lost myself.” These are typical experiences shared with me over the years by clients. Many of them entered therapy to work on anxiety, depression or relationship struggles without recognizing the role their childhood hurt or trauma played in how they were feeling as an adult. They had been working so hard to understand their feelings in the context of their adult lives, but hadn’t been able to make the progress or changes they felt they should. Their worries and concerns seemed exaggerated, even unrealistic. Their chronic sadness, in spite of having a rich and full life, was a mystery. They found themselves caught in the same unhealthy patterns in their relationships, despite wanting desperately to love and be loved.
The process of therapy revealed that each of these clients also had courage and outstanding strengths that helped them survive the emotional hurts, neglect, and in some cases physical abuse, of their childhoods. In addition, they had all overcome significant obstacles in their adult life and even excelled in unique areas, though these were accomplishments they previously had not recognized. Therapists trained in trauma resolution can assist clients with healing wounds from the past using emotionally safe and clinically effective approaches specific for an individual’s needs. By addressing these childhood experiences and how they impact the present, one is more fully empowered for lasting changes in how they feel about themselves and in their choices and relationships with others. We can then be our best selves in the present, having released our ghosts from the past. What is the difference between Stress and Anxiety?Stress refers to the experience of demand that can come from either our external environment or from inside of us. Stress in and of itself is not a good or bad thing. It can be either and both at the same time. Regardless, stress places demands on us which outstrip our current resources to respond to the stressor. Here’s an example: For most families, having a baby is regarded as a joyful event that is celebrated in countless ways. At the same time, this life changing event is associated with enormous physical and environmental demands in addition to emotional, psychological and intellectual demands. We are more likely to perceive having a baby as a challenge than a stressor. But what about another life changing event, like divorce. The failure of a marriage and ensuing legal complications are widely recognized to be one of the most stressful experiences one may have in life. Few would describe divorce as a “challenge”. Anxiety applies to our own response to the stress, challenge, demands we experience. It is especially important to recognize that anxiety has both emotional and physiological components.
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AuthorDr. Taylor shares her clinical perspective and updates on topics of psychological interest from relationships to relaxation. Archives
February 2020
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